Mackey: So if you go down to downtown Pittsburgh...and someone injects you with heroine, you'll feel good! And you'll want to do it everyday! That's *bad* induction.
dlstern: I'm sure I'd find what you say very interesting if I had any idea what you were talking about.
nwf: *waving arms* That's okay, half the time _I_ don't even know what I'm talking about.
< elly> mother's day, people - call now!
< ttuttle> elly: "if you call in the next 30 minutes, we'll throw in an extra mother, ABSOLUTELY FREE!"
<@huginn> i put a bottle of fruit juice next to my window last night
<@huginn> instead of taking it to the fridge
<@huginn> jokingly all "it will stay slightly cooler there than if i just put it on my desk or something"
<@huginn> and this morning it is frozen into a block :(
Annoying chick in alisag's class: "I hate that people call [illegal immigrants] 'illegals!' I don't even think they should be called aliens - they're not from outer space..."
"So in topology, my pants could expand to an arbitrarily large size." --Psyfe
"I think I would fuck Nathalie Portman before you, Psyfe." - Shawn
"I'm actually not really insulted by that." - Psyfe
< kjones> with banach tarski, every time's a threesome
*after a long, dirty IRC conversation wherein alanv learns what a vulva and a cameltoe are*
mrwright: Sooo.... how about buffer overflows?
alanv: enemas can cause overflows!
alanv: im reading about them on wiki!
<ixdy> <e
<DeMarko> <2.717
<DeMarko> I love you...but not that much
re:
mtomzcak: It's not the speed, it's about the size of his penis.
nwf: Keep in mind that relativistic effects would only make it smaller.
bmaruca: But keep in mind that the penis would increase in effective mass according to relativity.
Regarding 2103:
twizmer: So, the real problem is that it just makes sex more difficult, since there's resistance.
(on twitter)
DeMarko: why are people so hung up on porn?
relaxatorium: @DeMarko because the people love huge dongs.
relaxatorium: @DeMarko it occurs to me that I may have slightly misread your tweet.
...
aleffert: reading my friend's webcomic instead of dong homework++
chrsjxn: @aleffert dong typo right after Dave's mistake++
"induction never sleeps!" --car
"People used to talk about the oldest profession as prostitution. This is not correct. The oldest profession is number theory." --Prof. Rami Grossberg
Prof. Rothstein: You know, I went to the same high school as Snoop Dogg.
Student: Did you know him?
Prof. Rothstein: No, we moved in different circles...
[later]
Prof. Rothstein: He stopped sending me emails after I went to grad school. Different life choices.
Student: Gangsta rap versus theoretical physics?
Prof. Rothstein: Well, he stopped smoking, but I continued...
[Cornell is talking about ways to deter army recruiters]
cgwright: I said "I like lighting things on fire" when they asked me what my hobby was, and they _still_ didn't leave me alone...
cmartens: No, no, no -- you have to tell them you like men!
aveerhof: Right - just ask the recruiter what he's doing later... try to slip him your number...
cgwright: Ok, but what happens if it works?
< l0ng_d0ng_s1lv3r> once i accosted a friend of mine while i was in high school
< l0ng_d0ng_s1lv3r> i was working at a whitewater rafting operation
< l0ng_d0ng_s1lv3r> and he was a patron there
< l0ng_d0ng_s1lv3r> he was wearing a shirt that said "Read The Fine Manual"
< l0ng_d0ng_s1lv3r> i corrected him in a loud voice saying "THAT'S READ THE FUCKING MANUAL, CHRIS"
< l0ng_d0ng_s1lv3r> his ultra-conservative father was standing right behind him
(having just seen Toy Story 3...)
jlongtch: "I haven't been played with in years!"
eforney: That's only okay when a toy says it...
anaaktge -- "Basically, Im looking for a p3 kernel corset"
csawyer: kjones: one of my recent textbooks was written by one William S. Slaughter
aleffert: I hope the middle S is also for Slaughter
csawyer: aleffert: me too
kjones: aleffert++
aleffert: or maybe Sergeant
csawyer: what about Sunshine?
kjones: Santa
aleffert: ohhhh, those poor sunbeams
aleffert: and of course his cousin William S. Laughter
csawyer: aleffert: that's not how cousins work
aleffert: csawyer: it is a weird coincidence
csawyer: aleffert: ah, a fellow named Laughter married his aunt?
aleffert: or maybe that is what happened when two brothers came immigrated
aleffert: yeah, the laughter slaughter wedding was a riot
* dmeng is still on the "noob" section of "noob to pro"
< scorri> i think i belong in the boob category too
<labbott> mun_thye.equals("insane")
<cniessl> why are you referencing java?
<labbott> there are no references in java
10 seconds later
<munthyem> no wait, there are references in java, just no pointers
<cniessl> *yells across cut* laura! there are references in java
<labbott> uh, okay
nsaphra: There's nothing wrong with Nazis, except from, like, the obvious.
"I have a knack for choosing midterm dates at the same time as ten other classes." - Peter Lee
<bhima^> I don't know whwere I am. The GPS is in the other room.
<lokkje> bring on the hitler jokes
<mrwright> Hitler? I hardly even know her!
Referencing pac-man going in a circle:
<cgwright> We got pac-man to deadlock
<jmink> Thats a livelock! not a deadlock!
In 15-211: "Zip a file three times, if it doesn't blow-up, it's safe to assume that the algorithm works...in fact that's what you can do with all algorithms, do three tests, if it works, then it is correct - but don't put this quote on the internet please." - Klaus Sutner
[Talking about Biblical translations and plagues of locusts:]
ipl: I've always wondered how these things get translated across cultures. Like, if you're in the arctic, you don't see a lot of bugs.
ghannema: Well, I suppose they probably pick the best available alternative, like generally "insects" or something small...
ipl: Penguins!
kbare: Walrus would be funny-looking...
ipl: Oh man, a plague of walruses ate all my crops!
Ferguson: You'll have to believe me for now.
[overheard]: Physics is not a faith based course, theology is!
"DRILL PENIS LAPTOP! Are you braindead?!" - akiva
< sully> kjones: physicists sort of do it right
< sully> like, the Dirac Delta function
< kjones> sully: <3 dirac delta
< ixdz> dirac dirac dun / dirac dirac dun / dirac dirac dun / dun dun dun
<blikxx> what the fuck is going on
<blikxx> I've discovered something * very very * weird about perl
<labbott> call CNN
<About FF7 re-release rumor>
<mdorko> It's like the second coming of Jesus, except with better graphics!
<@nwf> "almost no one uses IRC" ?
<@nwf> 1M Windows PCs can't be wrong, can they?
gwillen: "On one algo quiz, one of the questions was 'draw a picture of your TA'"
nlyle: "I think I lost points on that one..."
Scott: "You know what I could go for? A big cup of Jesus!"
-!- jgrafton changed the topic of #cslounge to: Send amusing CMU-related quotes to http://cmubash.org/ right now! || This topic is lame.
-!- bohanlon changed the topic of #cslounge to: Send amusing CMU-related quotes to http://cmubash.org/ right now! || This topic is lame. || So is jgrafton
-!- jgrafton changed the topic of #cslounge to: Send amusing CMU-related quotes to http://cmubash.org/ right now! || This topic is lame. || So is bohanlon
-!- bohanlon changed the topic of #cslounge to: Send amusing CMU-related quotes to http://cmubash.org/ right now!
-!- jgrafton changed the topic of #cslounge to: .
-!- bohanlon changed the topic of #cslounge to: 212 is rather dull. You should submit quotes to cmubash.org
-!- jgrafton changed the topic of #cslounge to: 212 is rather dull. We should go shopping. (And submit quotes to cmubash.org.)
-!- bohanlon changed the topic of #cslounge to: 212 is rather dull. We should go shopping. Are you free at 2:30? (And submit quotes to cmubash.org.)
-!- jgrafton changed the topic of #cslounge to: 212 is rather dull. We should go shopping. Are you free at 2:30? No. (And submit quotes to cmubash.org.)
-!- jgrafton changed the topic of #cslounge to: 212 is rather dull. We should go shopping. Are you free at 2:30? No. (And submit quotes to cmubash.org.)
-!- bohanlon changed the topic of #cslounge to: 212 is rather dull. We should go shopping. Are you free at 2:30? No. Okay; never mind. (And submit quotes to cmubash.org.)
-!- bohanlon changed the topic of #cslounge to: Send amusing CMU-related quotes to http://cmubash.org/ right now!
Following a discussion about car repairs:
zmccord: I mean, come on! You have to fall in love with anything you duct tape! It works with girlfriends, right?
cmartens: *looks at what gwillen is drawing* Hey, you're drawing something dirty again!
gwillen: Shut up.
cmartens: You remember that time you drew a vagina?
gwillen: Yes! Shut up!
cmartens: Hah! So you admit it was a vagina!
gwillen: No! Shut up!
jboriss: Everyone loves sex with Mad Libs. Adjective adjective yes!
<Zannick> department of redundancy department
<Zannick> would like to inform you of the following announcement
<Zannick> until further notice, the department of redundancy department is to be referred to as the DRD department, until otherwise specified in contradiction.
<Zannick> PS. Please excuse us if you have received multiple copies of this message.
<Zannick> If you received this message in error, it was not intended for you.
gwillen and chrisamaphone: I like my women like I like my readline - covered in BUFFER!
cmartens: ...covered in BUTTER!
cmartens: I want _my_ women covered in butter.
gwillen: ...
gwillen: I want your women covered in butter, too.
<zmccord> Jbenedetto is, if not morally bankrupt, at least several months behind on his payments.
lroop: heh, everything in moderation, family included?
alisag: And hos.
alisag: HOW
alisag: I meant HOW!
mkasick: So the xen hypervisor *does* contain an XML parser [which is now used for hypercalls instead of S-expressions]
mdille3 (incredulous): I hear hypercalls happen pretty often...
de0u: Not as often as they used to!
cmartens: Has your dinner consisted of two cups of hot chocolate, a pack of oreos, and a bag of Milano cookies?
gwillen: [with air-quotes] "No."
I can make you pee colors you didn't know exist.
-Ryan
rhalstea: You know your window's open, right?
amay: So it is.
rhalstea: You know two of your windows are open?
amay: I find it refreshing?
